Why Is Continence Important in Marriage?

Historical Background

Brief Answer:

• Continence in marriage has historical roots in early Christian teachings.
• Church Fathers, such as St. Augustine and St. Jerome, emphasized marital chastity.
• Monastic traditions viewed continence as a higher form of holiness, influencing marital spirituality.
• Medieval canon law included provisions on conjugal rights and continence.
• The Catholic Church has consistently upheld continence as a virtue, especially during times of spiritual necessity.
• St. John Paul II reaffirmed the value of periodic continence in his Theology of the Body.

Detailed Answer:

The practice of continence in marriage is deeply rooted in Christian history. The early Church Fathers, including St. Augustine and St. Jerome, taught that sexual relations in marriage should always be oriented toward procreation and unity. They emphasized self-control and discipline, encouraging married couples to periodically practice continence for spiritual growth.

During the early centuries of Christianity, monastic ideals heavily influenced marital ethics. Celibacy was considered the highest calling, but for married couples, continence was recommended as a way to cultivate virtue and holiness. Some married saints, such as St. Louis and St. Zélie Martin, practiced periods of abstinence for the sake of deeper spiritual communion.

Medieval canon law included detailed provisions on conjugal rights and responsibilities. The Church acknowledged both the necessity of sexual intimacy in marriage and the importance of self-restraint. Clergy often advised married couples to practice continence during certain liturgical seasons, such as Lent and Advent, as a way of offering their union to God.

The Catholic Church has consistently upheld continence as a virtue within marriage. While not requiring complete abstinence, the Church has always encouraged couples to practice self-control when necessary, such as during illness, prayer, or spiritual discernment. This aligns with the Church’s broader teaching on chastity, which applies to all states of life.

In modern times, St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body reaffirmed the value of continence. He emphasized that sexual union must always be an expression of love and self-gift, and that periodic continence can strengthen marital intimacy by fostering deeper respect and understanding between spouses.

The historical perspective on continence in marriage underscores its role as a means of spiritual growth, discipline, and deepened marital unity. The Church’s wisdom on this matter continues to guide Catholic couples in their pursuit of holiness.

Scriptural Background

Brief Answer:

• The Bible affirms self-control as a virtue in marriage (1 Corinthians 7:5).
• Continence is sometimes necessary for prayer and spiritual focus (Exodus 19:15).
• St. Paul warns against lack of self-control leading to temptation (1 Corinthians 7:9).
• Jesus emphasizes the sanctity of marriage and self-discipline (Matthew 19:12).
• The Old Testament shows examples of continence, such as Tobit and Sarah (Tobit 8:4-8).
• The practice of continence is ultimately an expression of love and faithfulness (Ephesians 5:25-33).

Detailed Answer:

The concept of continence in marriage is strongly supported by Scripture. In 1 Corinthians 7:5, St. Paul teaches, “Defraud not one another, except, perhaps, by consent, for a time, that you may give yourselves to prayer; and return together again, lest Satan tempt you for your incontinency.” This passage highlights the importance of mutual agreement in marital relations and the necessity of self-control for spiritual purposes.

In the Old Testament, Exodus 19:15 recounts how Moses instructed the Israelites to abstain from marital relations before encountering God on Mount Sinai. This precedent shows that continence can be a way of preparing oneself spiritually for deeper communion with God.

St. Paul also warns against the dangers of a lack of self-control in 1 Corinthians 7:9, stating, “But if they do not have self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn.” This verse acknowledges human weakness but also implies that continence is a virtue to be cultivated, even within marriage.

Jesus Himself speaks of self-discipline and chastity in Matthew 19:12, where He says, “For there are eunuchs, who were born so from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs, who were made so by men; and there are eunuchs, who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven. He that can take it, let him take it.” While this verse primarily applies to celibacy, it also underscores the value of self-restraint for the sake of God’s kingdom.

The Book of Tobit provides a touching example of continence within marriage. Tobit 8:4-8 describes how Tobit and Sarah refrained from consummating their marriage immediately, choosing instead to pray for God’s blessing on their union. This biblical account highlights continence as an act of trust and faith in God.

Ultimately, Scripture portrays continence as a means of expressing love and faithfulness in marriage. As Ephesians 5:25-33 teaches, husbands and wives are called to love one another as Christ loves the Church, which includes practicing self-giving love, patience, and restraint when necessary.

Catholic Answers

Brief Answer:

• Continence in marriage is a recognized and encouraged virtue in Catholic teaching.
• The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 2366-2370) teaches that periodic continence aligns with responsible parenthood.
• The Church affirms that continence should be practiced with mutual consent and charity.
• Natural Family Planning (NFP) is promoted as a moral way to regulate births while respecting God’s design.
• Total continence (Josephite marriage) is a special calling but not required for all couples.
• Continence strengthens marital unity by fostering spiritual intimacy and mutual self-gift.

Detailed Answer:

The Catholic Church teaches that continence in marriage is a virtue that aligns with God’s plan for human sexuality. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states in CCC 2366, “Fecundity is a gift, an end of marriage, for conjugal love naturally tends to be fruitful.” However, it also acknowledges that there are just reasons for spouses to regulate birth through natural means.

The Church promotes periodic continence as part of responsible parenthood. In CCC 2368, it states, “For just reasons, spouses may wish to space the births of their children. It is their duty to make certain that their desire is not motivated by selfishness but is in conformity with the generosity appropriate to responsible parenthood.” This teaching allows for self-restraint in marriage while maintaining openness to life.

Marital continence must always be practiced with mutual consent and love. The Church warns against unilateral decisions that may cause harm to the marital relationship. As CCC 2369 states, “Periodic continence, that is, the methods of birth regulation based on self-observation and the use of infertile periods, respects the bodies of the spouses, encourages tenderness between them, and favors the education of an authentic freedom.”

Natural Family Planning (NFP) is endorsed by the Church as a moral way to regulate births. Unlike artificial contraception, NFP works in harmony with God’s design for human fertility and fosters deeper communication and trust between spouses.

Some couples are called to a Josephite marriage, where they practice complete abstinence for spiritual reasons. While this is a rare vocation, it has been embraced by saints throughout history and is considered a special calling rather than a requirement for all marriages.

Ultimately, continence in marriage strengthens the marital bond. By fostering discipline, mutual respect, and a deeper spiritual connection, it helps couples grow in love and holiness, fulfilling their vocation to mirror Christ’s love for His Church.

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